3 things gay children need from their parents

Advice on how to respond if your child is gay. This could save their life.

3 Things Gay Children Need From Their Parents.

My son is gay.

He is seventeen years old, trying to navigate his way in a small town.  I have made it clear to him, and everyone else, what they can expect from me.

1. He is not our family’s best kept secret.

I will not talk around him in conversations with others. I will not speak in code or vague language. I will not try to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, and I will not try to spare the feelings of those who may be older, or easily offended, or uncomfortable.

Childhood is difficult enough, and most gay kids spend their entire existence being horribly, excruciatingly uncomfortable. I’m not going to put mine through any more unnecessary discomfort, just to make Thanksgiving dinner a little easier for a third cousin with misplaced anger issues.

When my son came out we came out as a family!

2. I will pray for him.

I won’t pray for him to be made “normal.”

I’ve lived long enough to know that for my gay son, that is his normal. I won’t pray that God will heal or change or fix him. I will pray for God to protect him from the ignorance and hatred and violence that the world will throw at him, simply because of who he is.

I pray that He shields him from those who will despise him and wish him harm; who will curse him to hell and put him through hell without ever knowing him at all.

Above all, I’ll pray to God that my child won’t allow the ungodly treatment he might receive from some misguided Christians keep him from being a Godly man.

3. I will love him.

I don’t mean some token, distant, tolerant love that stays at a safe arm’s length.

I love him in an extravagant, open-hearted, unapologetic, lavish, embarrassing-him-in-the-school cafeteria, kind of love. I don’t love him despite his sexuality, and I don’t love him because of it. I love him; simply because he is sweet, and funny, and caring, and smart, and kind, and stubborn, and flawed, and original, and beautiful… and mine.

My son is gay.

He may doubt a million things about himself and about this world, but he will never doubt for a second that his Momma is over-the-moon crazy about him.

God has created him and wired him, and placed the seed of who he is within him.

Psalm 139 says that He, “…stitched him together in his mother’s womb.” The incredibly intricate stuff that makes him uniquely him; a once-in-history soul, was uploaded into his very cells, and I LOVE HIM.

Many of you may be offended by all of this.

I know this may be especially true if you are a religious person; one who finds the whole topic disgusting. As you’ve been reading, you may have been rolling your eyes, or clicking the roof of your mouth, or drafting familiar Scriptures to send me, or praying for me to repent, or preparing to Unfriend me, or writing me off as a sinful, evil, hell-bound heretic… but with as much gentleness and love as I can muster;

I really could care less.

This isn’t about you. This is a whole lot bigger than you.

You’re not the one I waited on breathlessly for nine months.
You’re not the one I wept with joy for when you were born.
You’re not the one I bathed, and fed, and rocked to sleep through a hundred intimate, midnight, snuggle sessions.

You’re not the one I taught to ride a bike, and whose scraped knee I kissed, and whose tiny, trembling hand I held, while getting stitches.
You’re not the one whose head I love to smell and whose face lights-up when I come home at night and whose laughter is like music to my weary soul.
You’re not the one who gives my days meaning and purpose, and who I adore more than I ever thought I could adore anything.

And you’re not the one who I’ll, hopefully, be with, when I take my last precious breaths on this planet; gratefully looking back on a lifetime of shared treasures, and resting in the knowledge that I loved you well.

That is my prayer, my deepest desire, the motivation behind my every decision, my every action: that I protected him well, loved him well, that I sent him out into the world steadfast in the knowledge that he is loved and accepted.

Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my words, it humbles me.

Sending you love.

T

*****I have been following John Pavlovitz blog for the last several weeks. He is a full-time pastor and blogger. I have enjoyed what he says, and it has guided me in my actions when my son came out gay. I have taken his blog and used it here to express, in a way I could never have constructed on my own, how I feel about my son and his journey. Please click the link below for his full blog post. http://johnpavlovitz.com/2014/09/17/if-i-have-gay-children-four-promises-from-a-christian-pastorparent/

Anna Wess This is our song

This Is Our Song~ A Story By Anna Wess

Ms. Anna Wess, the mountain muse and regular old queen entranced me yet again. Weaving her tale, as only she can. Making me smile through tear filled eyes.

Enjoy the ride my friends…..

I was awakened by a familiar song, the same one I’ve heard coming from the mountain on mornings like this one, always this time of year, when summer is sleepy and old. The singing didn’t cease, even after I forced my bones out of the bed. I heard them all humming in unison, their small voices never lilting above the constant murmur of the only song they know. I was unable to discern any lyrics, so I listened more closely.

We will be gone away soon, they chanted. We will be gone away soon, and so will you.

But it’s just the way things have always been, and you know this, too. This is the last song of summer. We need no stirring dirge to remind us, but the legion of crickets keep singing. They never get tired. And they never forget the words. They will serenade us with that same sad song until they disappear into a silent November.

I think about this place, this home that I love despite that cricket song that always becomes the anthem of summer’s demise. People live fast here. Hard and fast, like summertime itself. It isus those crickets sing about. I don’t have to know the words to understand, for I am one of those summer people, too.

But even if that song sounds melancholy, a rush of butterflies fills my insides, and I recollect that the soundtrack of my life was recorded during these Indian summer days. We spent the awakenings of our young spirits beneath harvest moons and in the rows of wasted cornfields at dusk and in gymnasiums at high school dances after football games on Friday nights, back when we were oblivious to our mortality and the coming winter………..

Click to finish reading and explore more of Ms. Anna’s tall tales.

Thank you for taking your time to read my words, it humbles me.

Sending you love and prayers for peace,

T

DIY antique light into solar light

Repurpose: Because Everything Deserves A Second Chance!

We have been living in our 125 year old church home since April. It is every bit as wonderful as I thought it would be!  I love the simpleness, and uniqueness. To repurpose a church into a home has been a dream come true for me.

When it rains, I love to sit in my little library. I imagine it must be what heaven is like.  I am so glad that this little old church got a second chance……

A new beginning: a repurpose.

Just like us, deserving of a second chance.

Since we moved I have had a couple little repurpose projects up my sleeve.

Ya’ll knew I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing, right?

First, I bought an antique light a few weeks ago,  I LOVE that light! The only problem being: all the lights in the church are original so I couldn’t really take them down for this, oh so beautiful, antique light.

So I conjured up a plan…….

For this beautiful light.

I love this blog! Such neat ideas and they live in a church! Repurpose at its best.

First, I remove the light bulb and all of that electrical stuff. Then I placed two strings of solar lights where the light bulb used to be. Allowing the cord to come out of the top. Then I simply attached the solar panels to the top of the board I was going to hang the light from

….and voila….

DIY repurposed solar outside light!

Look how beautiful she is!

She took this old light and turned it into a solar light! Brilliant. Repurpose at its best!

 

DIY outside solar light hanging outside her little church home.

Pretty neat,  huh?

Everything, just like every person, does not have to fit into the role they were assigned.  We all were made with multiple talents and abilities. We were also made with the ability to chose. Chose our life, chose our thoughts, chose who we allow in our life,

and chose when it is time to make a new life, with a different purpose.

Don’t become the worse thing that ever happened to you. Don’t allow your life to only be day to day mundane tasks.

You were created to do more.

It is the most beautiful thing, to see a broken person, get back up, pull themselves together, and start over again.

Creating a new reality for themselves.

Just like my old light. It served its purpose, got cast away, judged as useless, and now has a new purpose.

A purpose that is as meaningful and even more beautiful!

Love this blog! Gratefullty

Thank you for taking your time to read my words. It humbles me.

Sincerely,

T

 

 

 

How to use gratitude to become wealthy.

The Secret To Becoming Rich? Gratitude [Blog]

I have been doing some pretty exciting reading lately. Let’s see: Automatic Millionaire, Think and Grow Rich, Richest Man in Babylon. I know, I know, I am a wild and crazy woman when it comes to books my l literary choices.

There is a common thread woven into these financial advice books. This same thread is woven through The Secret, Anne Franks Diary, and even The Bible. That commonality is this: we are what we believe we are.

The state of your life is a direct reflection of your state of mind.

I have known this for quiet some time, but I just now really, really, got this part of it……it is not just your thoughts regarding your life as much as it is your beliefs.

I can go around all day saying to myself: “I am fit, healthy, wealthy, and strong.” “I am fit, healthy, wealthy, and strong.” over and over and over, till the cows come home……..with no change in my reality.

The difference shows up when I start believing it!

Think about this just a second here…….when you say to yourself : “I am too poor. I don’t have enough money, I am never going to get ahead.” You believe it. Whole heartily. You buy it:

hook, line, and sinker.

When in reality, for 99% of us, this is just not true.

Take a second and plug some numbers into this site. https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/get-involved/

If you live in the U.S. and make $25,000/year, you are in the wealthiest 5.3% of the world’s population. You earn 18 times the global average. At $25,000 per year, do you feel in the wealthiest 5% of the world? Why? Because you believe you are poor.

Once your thoughts expanded to a world view and you believed turning on hot water and having shoes on your feet puts you waaaayyy ahead of the majority,  your reality would change. If you believed you were in the top 5% earners of the world, your reality would change to reflect that belief. More and more riches would flow to you because you believed, and behaved, as if they would.

Thoughts are energy.

They have power.

The Bible says he who has faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.

Harper Lee writes in To Kill a Mockingbird: People generally see what they look for and hear what they listen for.

How to use gratitude and The Secret to become rich!

What are you believing or having faith in? What do you look and listen for in your life?

Let’s take this example. Say I tricked you into believing your life was in danger. You believed it so much that you felt sweaty, heart racing, scared. Every sound meant danger. Every person a potential enemy. You wouldn’t sleep or have any peace of mind. Your reality would reflect your belief.

So, how do you make your mind believe you are wealthy, fit, strong….or whatever circumstance you are trying to improve.

Gratitude.

When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears. Interrupt your worry and anxiety with gratitude. Wake up with a grateful heart. As your eyes open whisper “thank you for another day” as your feet first touch the floor “thank you for my ability to stand” as you prepare to work “thank you my body is healthy enough to work”  as you prepare your breakfast and eat do so in silence while thinking “thank you for my healthy mind, thank you I can hear, thank you I can see, thank you I can eat without getting sick…..and so on all the way down your body.

As you put your shoes on “thank you for my shoes to keep my feet warm.” As your family awakes “thank you for their health, their presence in my home,  their happiness.”

As you write out your bills: “thank you that I get to pay for electricity that keeps me warm, heats my water, keeps my food from spoiling” As you write the check for your cell phone “thank you for being able to have all this information at my fingertips. Thank you for a way to easily connect with the ones I care most about.” As you pump your gas “thank you that I have the money to pay for gas and I don’t have to walk to work everyday”

You get the point.

With your every thought and action regarding money think a thought of gratitude for being wealthy enough to live the life you get to live. If your thoughts are all about how poor you are you will draw more poverty to you.  The more grateful you are the more you will have to be grateful for. Like draws like.

Abundance grows from gratitude.

I love this blog! How to use The Secret and Gratitude to become rich!

It will change your life.

I promise.

I am grateful for you taking your time to read my words. It humbles me.

Sending you all love.

T